We expect Relationships to be the easiest thing in the world, but they are actually the hardest. The gap between how we imagine a relationship will be (easy), and how it actually is (hard) can be huge, disappointing and demoralising. Sometimes guidance we so desperately need isn’t available in a meaningful way from family and friends.
It can be a bit difficult knowing where to start, and also a little challenging to consider talking to a counsellor about your relationship.
I help you work on “The Relationship”, ie I counsel “The Relationship”, rather than you as individuals. This means we talk about how you interact with each other, how you deal with things together, what patterns exist, what stage your relationship is at.
Few of us are aware that a problem or crisis is actually a good thing, and a natural occurence in any relationship that you want to be exceptional. Crisis is a good thing because it offers an opportunity for open and honest communication which can then lead to a deeper/clearer/better understanding of each other. Moving through stages in a relationship, as follows is quite normal and actually very good for your relationship
-Romance/In Love (we are each others world/we mean everything to each other)
-Disappointment (this person is not so ideal, now they are a bit annoying)
–Crisis/Power struggles/Arguments (this isn’t what I signed up for, what do I/we do?)
-Finding oneself within Relationship (who am I? Can I tolerate partners differences?)
-Reconciliation (I accept you aren’t perfect, but there’s enough good here. I’ll stay)
-Together again (Now not so entwined as in the beginning. More mature relationship)
Couples counselling can help you navigate these natural stages. Its also possible that at the end of the process you decide to separate, and that might be the correct thing for both of you. At least the decision you make is more informed, and less reactionary
Relationship counselling doesn’t just need to be for gay or hetero couples in romantic relationship who are experiencing issues. It can be for any two adults eg mother and daughter or father and son or siblings or for work colleagues. It can also be for couples wanting help to separate in the best way possible for the sake of themselves and/or their children. Or for new couples who want to do preventative/understanding type of work
We would meet for one session and then decide next steps during that session