All posts by guy

The “Generation Gap”

How do we talk across the ages and generations?

“The Generation Gap is an important social tool for any repressive society. If the younger members of a community view the older members as contemptible or suspect or excess, they will never be able to join hands and examine the living memories of the community, nor ask the all important question “Why?”. This gives rise to historical amnesia…………We find ourselves having to repeat and relearn the same old lessons over and over that our mothers did because we do not pass on what we have learned or because we are unable to listen” (Audre Lorde: Sister Outsider)

Unless I specifically seek it out via mens groups, I rarely speak to older males and even less likely older females who are outside of family, or outside of paid relationships like counselling and supervision. I carry a feeling of loss about this.

The gap aslo exists betweeen White and People of Colour.

Why is this? Is it because of unconcsious ageism, racism, fear of strangers, fear of difference, fear of “Other”? I find myself asking do I treat all people the same? How concsious am I of how I might treat people differently?

Counselling provides a space to talk about these sorts of dilemmas

Searching for the Anti-Virus | Covid 19 as a Quantum Phenomenon

Thought provoking article by Martin Winiecki…part of which is below

“I’ve struggled to make sense of what is going on. My suspicious mind wandered around restlessly, examining all theories and possible explanations, yet I must admit: I don’t know what is happening. I do know this is a crucial moment of choice for humanity. In this essay, I will not suggest or discuss “what is going on.” I rather want to invite you into a realm transcending the dichotomy of “objective reality” vs “subjective thoughts/feelings,” which underlies most theories, predictions and calls to action in this crisis. Coming from a spiritually-informed holistic worldview, I entertain the possibility that we as humanity – or some deeper part of ourselves, whether conscious or not – have dreamed this moment into existence as a catalyst for our collective evolution. If that were true, how might we engage and respond? Covid-19 could actually present an unlikely possibility for collective awakening and far-reaching system change

Imagined Letter from Covid 19 to Humans

Interesting Imaginary Letter from Covid 19 to Humans from GratefulWeb. Helps to bring perspective that what should be a relationship of equals is actually an abusive one

Stop. Just stop.

It is no longer a request. It is a mandate.

We will help you.

We will bring the supersonic, high speed merry-go-round to a halt

We will stop

the planes

the trains

the schools

the malls

the meetings

the frenetic, furied rush of illusions and “obligations” that keep you from hearing our

single and shared beating heart,

the way we breathe together, in unison.

Our obligation is to each other,

As it has always been, even if, even though, you have forgotten.

We will interrupt this broadcast, the endless cacophonous broadcast of divisions and distractions,

to bring you this long-breaking news:

We are not well.

None of us; all of us are suffering.

Last year, the firestorms that scorched the lungs of the earth

did not give you pause.

Nor the typhoons in Africa, China, Japan.

Nor the fevered climates in Japan and India.

You have not been listening.

It is hard to listen when you are so busy all the time, hustling to uphold the comforts and conveniences that scaffold your lives.

But the foundation is giving way,

buckling under the weight of your needs and desires.

We will help you.

We will bring the firestorms to your body

We will bring the fever to your body

We will bring the burning, searing, and flooding to your lungs

that you might hear:

We are not well.

Despite what you might think or feel, we are not the enemy.

We are Messenger. We are Ally. We are a balancing force.

We are asking you:

To stop, to be still, to listen;

To move beyond your individual concerns and consider the concerns of all;

To be with your ignorance, to find your humility, to relinquish your thinking minds and travel deep into the mind of the heart;

To look up into the sky, streaked with fewer planes, and see it, to notice its condition: clear, smoky, smoggy, rainy? How much do you need it to be healthy so that you may also be healthy?

To look at a tree, and see it, to notice its condition: how does its health contribute to the health of the sky, to the air you need to be healthy?

To visit a river, and see it, to notice its condition: clear, clean, murky, polluted? How much do you need it to be healthy so that you may also be healthy? How does its health contribute to the health of the tree, who contributes to the health of the sky, so that you may also be healthy?

Many are afraid now.

Do not demonize your fear, and also, do not let it rule you. Instead, let it speak to you—in your stillness,

listen for its wisdom.

What might it be telling you about what is at work, at issue, at risk, beyond the threats of personal inconvenience and illness?

As the health of a tree, a river, the sky tells you about quality of your own health, what might the quality of your health tell you about the health of the rivers, the trees, the sky, and all of us who share this planet with you?

Stop.

Notice if you are resisting.

Notice what you are resisting.

Ask why.

Stop. Just stop.

Be still.

Listen.

Ask us what we might teach you about illness and healing, about what might be required so that all may be well.

We will help you, if you listen.

Counselling via Skype or Zoom…What is it like?

Everyone has a different reaction, their own reaction to the idea of Counselling sessions conducted on line or by the phone.

For some it’s a turn off and they are not interested, as they consider something is “missing” or its harder to connect.

For some clients it is easier to have online Counselling, again for a variety of reasons. It may feel safer, easier, less pressured, or the technology gives them control

The only way to actually know, would be to have a session and then see what opinion you formed.

Early years support sets a child up for life. It should be a national priority

Guardian Article: In these precarious times, we need something even more ambitious than Sure Start

“What we need, to ensure the mental and physical health of future generations, is something far more radical and far-reaching than Sure Start – nothing less than a revolution in public policy on the early years. We need parenting classes for girls and – crucially – boys built in to the education system; and psychological support for all new parents, to stop damaging patterns being repeated”

Being vs Doing

Western society values Doing much more than Being.

Article from ‘The Ascent’ goes into this in more detail

Doing can be measured, can be seen by others, and can often me monetised

Being is hard to measure, is less visible and often doesn’t generate money

Doing can have a function of blocking out or avoiding or making it harder to tune into our deeper wisdom, intuition, perception and feelings.

This is an example of something that can be explored in Counselling for some people

‘I thought I was a lost cause’: how therapy is failing people of colour

Black and minority ethnic people are more likely to develop mental health conditions but less likely to access counselling – or find it fit for purpose. Are more BME therapists the answer?

I think the interventions and views taken by the therapists in this article are flawed. They were not being led by the clients experience but were trying to impose their own views, which is a mistake.

Long Term Offenders have different brain structure

Guardian Article explains ” Parents should not worry about their teenagers’ delinquent behaviour provided they were well behaved in their earlier childhood”

“……. adults who had a long history of offending showed a smaller surface area in many regions of the brain compared with those with a clean track record. They also had thinner grey matter in regions linked to regulation of emotions, motivation and control of behaviour – aspects of behaviour they are known to have struggled with….”