“What we need, to ensure the mental and physical health of future generations, is something far more radical and far-reaching than Sure Start – nothing less than a revolution in public policy on the early years. We need parenting classes for girls and – crucially – boys built in to the education system; and psychological support for all new parents, to stop damaging patterns being repeated”
Guardian Article explains ” Parents should not worry about their teenagers’ delinquent behaviour provided they were well behaved in their earlier childhood”
“……. adults who had a long history of offending showed a smaller surface area in many regions of the brain compared with those with a clean track record. They also had thinner grey matter in regions linked to regulation of emotions, motivation and control of behaviour – aspects of behaviour they are known to have struggled with….”
“We don’t understand the meaning of our internal experiences until we see them externalised, or played out for us in the faces and reactions of our caregivers”
“This pattern of empathising, then reframing and de-shaming looks uncannily like the mirroring-and-soothing exchanges between mother and infant in the first years of life”
Guardian Article about Early interactions with caregivers can dramatically affect your beliefs about yourself, your expectations of others, and how you cope with stress and regulate your emotions as an adult
“It isn’t hard to see how such attachment patterns can undermine mental health. Both anxious and avoidant coping have been linked to a heightened risk of anxiety, depression, loneliness, eating and conduct disorders, alcohol dependence, substance abuse and hostility. The way to treat these problems, say attachment theorists, is in and through a new relationship. On this view, the good therapist becomes a temporary attachment figure, assuming the functions of a nurturing mother, repairing lost trust, restoring security, and instilling two of the key skills engendered by a normal childhood: the regulation of emotions and a healthy intimacy”
How good are we at passing between generations our learning though experience ?
We are great at documenting and passing material, scientific, technical, and factual information between generations. Year on year more discoveries are made and progress is made as a body of wisdom is generated…..
Or is it?
How good are we at passing between generations our learning though experience, our learning about things that can’t be measured….things like
-Feelings, Thoughts, Intuition, Perception….our Psychology or
-Experience in Relationship, Marriage, Choices, Life, Vulnerability, Daring to tell someone how we feel, taking a risk, opening our hearts?
Alain De Botton in this article likens this absence of sharing of the latter things to being similar to asking each generation to discover the Laws of Physics for themselves…..How crazy would that be?
Counselling can be one way to learn the type of Wisdom that is harder to measure and harder to pass from one generation to another
If you’d like to organise a first session please click here
If “Adverse Childhood Experiences” (ACES) are a ‘Risk’ factor then ‘Counter ACES’ are ‘Protective’ Factors that can balance the impact of ACES.
Article from Psychology today goes into greater detail
Please contact me if you would like to discuss this further or add a comment in the sections..
Parent Child Connection is illustrated as 11 year old boy shows Stepdad a video he made of their time together
2 minute video that hints at a childs desire to belong, to be part of something, and hints at the joy the 11 year old feels when in the company of his step-parent. Even when a family still lives under the same roof, it takes some effort, awareness and availability on the part of the parent or caregiver to create a relationship with their children like this. Sometimes there can be reasons why this sort of connection isn’t possible.
What was your experience like of being parented or looked after by a guardian?
What was your Parent Child Connection like?
Thought provoking animated style video about Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES)
Although this Video is in animated form, you may see aspects of yourself in this video…You may be reminded of yours or others history. You may experience an emotional response watching this.
We could say the video is a little simplistic. It implies that getting help via police and social worker is the way to resolve or get past Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES). It may also imply that if you have an Adverse Childhood Experience then you will be more likely/or inevitably suffer later in life. It is not inevitable. Many factors are relevant in considering the impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences. These include the natural resilience of each person, the nature and number of difficulties and the nature and number of supportive influences and Protective factors or Counter-ACES in a young persons life.
You may find that Counselling is one of the many ways that you can come to terms with. and help understand Adverse Childhood Experiences
This 90 second advert produced by Barnardos is very insightful in illustrating how difficult events in early childhood can affect through all stages of our growth to becoming adults.
The Advert is not showing specifically what Counselling is (apart from sitting opposite someone and talking) but shows how the adult has evolved from the child. Also shown is how the adult behaviour is influenced by childhood experiences.
You might take a different meaning from it. Whether you are a woman or a man which part of this video speaks to you or provokes you?
Counselling can provide an opportunity to explore your evolution from child to adult and/or how your childhood experiences may affect you now