Would you consider Couples Counselling before getting married?
What would the decision to have Counselling before getting married communicate to your partner, to others, to yourself?
The implications of a Wedding and the later commitment it entails are a life changing decision. The gap between how we expect a Relationship to be (fill in your imagined expectations here) and how it actually turns out (fill out your experience here) can sometimes be significant and quite challenging.
Would your PreWedding counselling experience make a difference to your decision to commit? Or if you found difficulties would you simply think things would be different after making the commitment?
For Couples that are separating as their best option, Author Warren Farrell lists the following 4 points for parents to consider in order to minimise the impact on Children:
1)Equal Time: (Children have equal time including overnights with each parent)
2)No Bad-mouthing: (this includes non verbal signals like eye-rolling, huffing and sighing)
3) Proximity:(Parents live close enough to each other that the child does not have to give up friends or activities to see a parent)
4)Counselling:(“Consistent Couples Counselling occurs even when there is no emergency”)
Perhaps Point 4 is the most contentious.
Couples might say: But we are separating! Why do we need Consistent Couples Counselling? This is the last thing i want! I can’t stand this person! I’m so angry/upset/out of love with them that I can’t bear it
A Couples Counsellor might say: Even during/after separation:
-I don’t mind whether you separate or stay together, but you might want to make sure that you are making your decision from a Conscious position
Each of you is still in Relationship with each other because of the Children. You will need to discuss their future and your continued need to co-parent