Category Archives: Couples

6 people in your Couples Counselling Session?

What? There will only be 2 adults in the session right?

Wrong. Alongside/Inside each of the two presenting adults is an internalised inner child and an internalised parental figure.

Suddenly things are a little bit more complicated

Person 1 Person 2

Couples sometimes get stuck in the dotted lines positions, where one is having a go at the other one. (Diagram courtesy of The Context of Things)

Couples Counselling aims to get both parties relating along the solid line ie from Adult to Adult. This happens by many methods but the first stage is to realise the unhelpful patterns and why they come about

To book a session

“Soulmates do not exist”. The Surprising rise of (Pre) Wedding Therapy

Interesting Article from the Guardian newspaper about the rise of (Pre) ‘Wedding Therapy’ (ie Couples Counselling) before getting married.

Would you consider Couples Counselling before getting married?

What would the decision to have Counselling before getting married communicate to your partner, to others, to yourself?

The implications of a Wedding and the later commitment it entails are a life changing decision. The gap between how we expect a Relationship to be (fill in your imagined expectations here) and how it actually turns out (fill out your experience here) can sometimes be significant and quite challenging.

Would your PreWedding counselling experience make a difference to your decision to commit? Or if you found difficulties would you simply think things would be different after making the commitment?

Divorce: The Four “Must-Dos” for Parents

Writing in his Book “The Boy Crisis”

For Couples that are separating as their best option, Author Warren Farrell lists the following 4 points for parents to consider in order to minimise the impact on Children:

1)Equal Time: (Children have equal time including overnights with each parent)

2)No Bad-mouthing: (this includes non verbal signals like eye-rolling, huffing and sighing)

3) Proximity:(Parents live close enough to each other that the child does not have to give up friends or activities to see a parent)

4)Counselling:(“Consistent Couples Counselling occurs even when there is no emergency”)

Perhaps Point 4 is the most contentious.

Couples might say: But we are separating! Why do we need Consistent Couples Counselling? This is the last thing i want! I can’t stand this person! I’m so angry/upset/out of love with them that I can’t bear it

A Couples Counsellor might say: Even during/after separation:

-I don’t mind whether you separate or stay together, but you might want to make sure that you are making your decision from a Conscious position

Each of you is still in Relationship with each other because of the Children. You will need to discuss their future and your continued need to co-parent