Do you sometimes find yourself feeling Anxious or Avoidant in company or in Relationships? There are many many ways to consider this. One possible way is using the idea of “Attachment Theory”.
Your Attachment “style” influences how you are, conciously, or perhaps also unconciously or just in the edge of awareness.
There are 3 major “styles” of Attachment: Anxious, Avoidant, Secure.
Your attachment style evolves as a result of several things like, how you were related to throughout your life starting with pre-verbal times. It is influenced by your experiences, ie ‘nurture’ but also perhaps by “nature” ie how you were born.
How we relate to someone and feel in someones company can change from one person to the next ie it is person and situationally specific.
“Earnt Secure” is another Attachment Style. This means that you “Earn” this way of being/Attaching. For example, it can be possible to change your Attachment style (eg from “Anxious” to “Secure”) by working for/earning this transformation . This can be achieved by any sort of inner or soul or reflective transformational work, whether it be counselling, retreats, reading, journalling etc.
However I’d argue that to change an Attachment Style that was formed “through relationship” (ie as a result of early relational experiences, ie experiences with another) , it is also more likely that your attachment style can be changed more quickly if the work you do to change it, involves relationships or ‘Relational Work’.
Getting to know your Counsellor and working in depth with them is an example of the sort of “Relational Work” that has the potential to change your Attachment Style.
Thought provoking animated style video about Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES)
Although this Video is in animated form, you may see aspects of yourself in this video…You may be reminded of yours or others history. You may experience an emotional response watching this.
We could say the video is a little simplistic. It implies that getting help via police and social worker is the way to resolve or get past Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES). It may also imply that if you have an Adverse Childhood Experience then you will be more likely/or inevitably suffer later in life. It is not inevitable. Many factors are relevant in considering the impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences. These include the natural resilience of each person, the nature and number of difficulties and the nature and number of supportive influences and Protective factors or Counter-ACES in a young persons life.
You may find that Counselling is one of the many ways that you can come to terms with. and help understand Adverse Childhood Experiences
The Advert is not showing specifically what Counselling is (apart from sitting opposite someone and talking) but shows how the adult has evolved from the child. Also shown is how the adult behaviour is influenced by childhood experiences.
You might take a different meaning from it. Whether you are a woman or a man which part of this video speaks to you or provokes you?
Counselling can provide an opportunity to explore your evolution from child to adult and/or how your childhood experiences may affect you now