Couples Counselling aims to get both parties relating along the solid line ie from Adult to Adult. This happens by many methods but the first stage is to realise the unhelpful patterns and why they come about
You have a problem. You go to the Doctor. You might carry some of the following conscious or unconscious assumptions…
– I will tell the Doctor my problem -The Doctor will draw conclusions relatively quickly to allow a ‘treatment path’ to be activated -They will make my problem go away, ideally without me having to do much (apart from maybe take medicine, take it easy etc) -The ‘fix’ is from the outside to the inside -Many similar ‘fixes’ might have been offered by this Doctor to other patients -It might be about getting rid of something or removing something from you
Counsellor or Doctor? How is a session Different?
How is this different from coming to see a Counsellor / Therapist?
-I won’t try to ‘fix’ you -It’s not about making progress necessarily (unless you tell me that’s what you want) -Instead it’s about understanding more clearly WHERE you are and WHY this might be -It’s about understanding how you are affected -It’s about understanding your hopes, fears, imagination, worries, thoughts, and feelings -We might wonder, ponder and consider things in more detail and with more time -You are an individual-We will consider your past, your present, your future -I believe you have all the wisdom and help you need within yourself, but there are some things getting in the way of you being able to access this inner wisdom -You might have to put a bit of yourself in the process and I realise this can be difficult, scary, and hard to imagine, but I’ve taken these steps before you so I might have an idea of how it could work for you
-There is the potential for lasting, real change and growth
I’m sure this website doesn’t have all the answers. Perhaps you are sitting with a question you want answered and aren’t sure what to do next? Can you help me understand what it is like to consider coming to Counselling or asking questions about it?
At the bottom of the screen it is possible to post a question. Depending on the nature of the question and/or your stated preference I will try to answer publicly or privately.
The first session is a chance for you to see what it is like to be able to talk and someone listen without interruption or judgement or unwanted advice giving. For some people it might be the first time that they have had an experience of being listened to in an uninterrupted way. If you have a busy life then Counselling can be a time free of distractions where you can check in with yourself.
Counselling can last anything from 1 session to many years. There is no obligation to continue. You can ask questions and have an experience of how it works.
All counsellors can remember what it was like when they went for their own first session of counselling, so are thoughtful and aware that this might be the case for you too.