Divorce: The Four “Must-Dos” for Parents

Writing in his Book “The Boy Crisis”

For Couples that are separating as their best option, Author Warren Farrell lists the following 4 points for parents to consider in order to minimise the impact on Children:

1)Equal Time: (Children have equal time including overnights with each parent)

2)No Bad-mouthing: (this includes non verbal signals like eye-rolling, huffing and sighing)

3) Proximity:(Parents live close enough to each other that the child does not have to give up friends or activities to see a parent)

4)Counselling:(“Consistent Couples Counselling occurs even when there is no emergency”)

Perhaps Point 4 is the most contentious.

Couples might say: But we are separating! Why do we need Consistent Couples Counselling? This is the last thing i want! I can’t stand this person! I’m so angry/upset/out of love with them that I can’t bear it

A Couples Counsellor might say: Even during/after separation:

-I don’t mind whether you separate or stay together, but you might want to make sure that you are making your decision from a Conscious position

Each of you is still in Relationship with each other because of the Children. You will need to discuss their future and your continued need to co-parent

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